saturday
we don't waste no precious time
i just need somewhere to dump all my negativity
- i woke up but was still extremely tired so i snoozed and this resulted in me waking up later than i would have liked
- i went out in the kitchen to make breakfast and my cat was being annoying as fuck and i don't wanna sound harsh but i wanted to murder him
- i ate my breakfast for too long so i had to stress
- someone was on the toilet so i had to brush my teeth in the kitchen
- i got my period //tmi sorry//
- i couldn't find matching socks and ended up being 10 minutes late out the door
- THIS IS THE WORST THING NOW WHEN I STEPPED OUT THE DOOR MY HEADPHONES GOT TWIRLED AROUND MY ARM AND THE CORD PULLED OUT OF THE SOCKET AND MY PHONE DROPPED TO THE GROUND AND MY SCREEN CRACKED *AGGRESSIVELY CRYING*
- it was cold as hell outside so my fingers lost all their warmth
- nothing bad happened until lunch when i nearly collided with a guy and got scared to death (nearly)
- it's snowing outside now
- ok i can't think of anything else
My wrist hurts
About me // who am i?
Harry feels and such
2013.03.30
You've got my head spinning around
Haven't had time to write some worthy posts these last couple of days. At least you've had the daily quotes to read which I hope have been able to motivate you a bit! I'll soon post an informative post again, and when I say soon I mean before the end of the week. I've really been busy this time and I'm not even exaggerating when I say that - I literally mean zero minutes spare time. Yesterday I studied chemistry for SEVEN hours straight for this big test I had today. I'm a little bit annoyed though because apparently it was a waste of time since not one of the things we were being tested on was in the book(???). But it feels awesome and like such a big relief to have it all behind me. It was probably good that I studied after all, because one can never be too wise! Even if I had no use of it now I know I will later in life.
I also have a test on Thursday this week and that will be focused on the First World War. History is not my favorite subject, but rather my "hating subject" (hehe) and I honestly think it's quite pointless. But I'm bloody sure gonna get a good score even though I hate it! Got a high score in religion so why can't I get that in history?
I've just eaten a snack which unfortunately was a little too big and I'm now feeling a little sick. I'm thinking about if I should exercise today or not. Haven't had the urge recently so as a result I have skipped it a lot. Thought I'd take care of it around my birthday and I've been planning to create a workout schedule and set up a food plan with more regulated times to eat. I'll also put up some goals, etc. so I have something to work towards. Haven't had much motivation lately either which sucks but it's hopefully just a slump, and no way I'm giving up because of something as ridiculous as that! I'll come back better than ever!! I already have a big goal though which is to feel really hot when I'm going to America, and it's only about a 100 days left until I'm going there which is totally wicked. I remember how I sat during the summer / fall last year contemplating how I would bring it up with my parents, and dreams really do come true at times because here I am and will soon turn my dream into reality!
This post turned out as a very variated one. Hope you have a blast!
P. S. Please comment if there is something special you want me to write about and I'll try to fix it!
Today's lunch
I've had a pretty good day so far, except for being a bit tired due to staying up late last night snapchatting with Cassandra hahahah. Embarrassed myself big time and regret it today. As per usual. Haven't exactly done anything special today. I ate the same breakfast as I did yesterday, and then I went into town and bought a pair of shoes and a little yum for tonight. Ate lunch recently and now I'm lying under a duvet while freezing a looot. Yesterday I also remembered that it's only about a week left until I'm turning 16, which also seems kinda sick. This became a very messy post so sorry.
Lunch: Salad consisting of leafy greens (spinach and arugula), shrimp, crayfish, broccoli, sweet corn, bulgur, chicken, cherry tomatoes, soft-boiled eggs, and low-fat cottage cheese. Water.
Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.
I'm now home from the Stockholm trip we did with the grade I'm in and it was fun and I'm so happy for finding everything that I bought! Recieved lots of tips from everyone on Instagram regarding what to visit etc. and I want to thank you for that! I'm not exactly used to the city and it was a long time since I was there in other means than to travel from Arlanda. I found both Raw Bites and Quest Bars (!) and I'm still in ecstasy. I was going to buy something from "yogurtshopen" but forgot about it so I'll try it next time I go there instead. Ate a delicious veggiesalad at Blueberry consisting of green falafel with spirulina (chickpeas, spinach, basil, garlic, onion), green leaves of spinach and arugula, quinoa with cranberries, lentils, sunflower seeds and herbs, pumpkin cream (pumpkin, canola oil) kumbuchadressing (kumbucha , raspberry, canola oil, lime juice, sweet freedom), topped with grated beetroot and sauerkraut and a sourdough bread of rye and dried blueberries to eat with it. I didn't eat the cream or the dressing however though since I like to eat salad as it is. But I was pleasantly surprised and will definitely eat there again! Loved the falafel, might even try to do it at home sometime.
Also went in to Hollister and got some kind of panic attack because of the hot guys hahaha. I was really nervous and my heart was beating really fast and I began telling super bad jokes and I was chattering nonstop. I OBVIOUSLY CAN NOT ACT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING WHEN GODLIKE GUYS ARE NEARBY.
Underneath you can see all the protein bars I bought (Raw Bite Coconut, Raw Bite Cashew, Raw Bite Raw Cacao, Raw Bite Vanilla Berries, Nakd Cocoa Delight, Quest Bar Peanut Butter Supreme, Quest Bar Strawberry Cheesecake, Quest Bar Vanilla Almond Crunch, & Quest Bar Apple Pie) ↓
OLD PICTURE SORRY
I'll probably get a lot more personal on this blog, vent and so on so I hope you're preparing for surviving something like that. Will OF COURSE not stop writing about health/fitness and it will still be the main topic! Will shortly answer all the questions I've been getting because I hate to know that you need my help and I just ignore it because I don't have any energy left. YOU WILL GET ANSWERS I PROMISE I LOVE YOU OK.
Woke up on the right side this morning and was tired as usual but took a different bus to school which was much better and before/during PE in school I was hyper and completely filled with energy and recieved questions about how much booze I've had for breakfast ahaha. Unfortunately that changed when I got home and I'm almost ready to go to bed already BECAUSE I AM TOTALLY DRAINED OF ENERGY. If I haven't got luck on my side I might even get sick. I really want to avoid that because in two days I'm going to Stockholm with my class! I have nothing more to write because I walked away from the computer and apparently my urge to write disappeared so .... bye.
Hola here I am
Hi everyone! Recently I've had fifty-one million thoughts in my head that goes around and around and around and I feel that no, I can't live like this anymore. Without exaggerating I have got anxiety about literally EVERYTHING twenty-four/seven and it's chewing on me from the inside. All kinds of anxiety you can imagine. It's so lame really because I go around worrying and over-thinking the smallest things that have no impact on my life in any way. I blow everything out of proportion. I have performance anxiety (have had it all my life but it has gotten much worse). Will I ever feel good enough?
I never feel satisfied with school work and I can't ever get praised. In the latest development conversation I had with my teacher it was the first time ever that they didn't said anything about that I talk too little. That I have to raise my hand more because they know that I have the knowledge. I have improved so much and the teacher told my dad that he should be proud of me because he has an "incredibly talented" daughter. See? Even that I couldn't write without adding quotation marks because it felt so wrong to be described like that. A couple of weeks back we had to write a big religion essay and my teacher just told me I will get the highest grade - still, I felt neither excited or even close to satisfied. Another classic example is when I got an A in art. My teacher informed me about that after a lesson and he asked me "Why do you look so sad? Had you hoped for a lower grade?". I was not happy at all and did not feel worthy of that A. I even refused to tell my classmates what I got because I was ashamed. I was ashamed WHEN I GOT THE HIGHEST GRADE POSSIBLE!! Do you see what I mean? Anxiety everywhere and when I get a good result I feel nothing but bad. I have soaring expectations no matter what I do. About everything. It makes me so tired and sad.
I can not do anything without getting anxiety. Thoughts like:
am I really working out enough
I think I'm eating too unhealthy now
I have to study
my parents must be so disappointed at how I turned out, they probably regret that I was born
everyone's probably lying when they say they like me
I waste too much money
I will never get a job in the future
I need to be more outgoing
I gotta answer all questions I've received
I have to blog
I need to drink more water
I need to get more sleep
I need to get more money
are living in my head every hour of the day and I'm afraid I won't be able to cope for much longer. You wanted a more personal blog - here you have it. I guess this also proves that I'm not perfect, not even close.
Don't you worry 'bout a thing
My feelings are too loud for words and too shy for the world.
Hand-written letters are really nice. I think it’s sad how people hardly write hand-written letters anymore. It’s always emails and messages over facebook. I just find it so much more meaningful when someone pours their heart out to you through writing. It just goes to show how much you were in their thoughts. Not only that but you can keep it forever. It’s amazing how much a person’s handwriting and grammar can really tell about them. You get the true essence of them through hand written letters. So if any of you want a handwritten letter, send me your address, name and what you'd like me to write about to you and I’ll send you a letter as soon as possible. This might become expensive but I mean how cool wouldn't it be if I could get to know you all in such a personal way. I miss getting letters. With postcards and thoughtful little things just because.
If you're interested in getting a letter, please send me a message on kik (my_way_to_fitness) with the information I requested and I'll start writing. If you want to send me a letter I'd be happy to give you my adress, just ask.
Thanks instagram!
I feel like Instagram has made me MUCH more aware of social issues and evolved my sense of humor to be a lot more respectful. Like, there were a lot of words that I didn’t know offended people before - that I used on a regular basis - until I followed people on Instagram who made it clear that they found them offensive, and it really made me think I used to casually make fun of people behind their backs, because everyone else did and it just seemed normal to do. Now I’ve become so much more aware and cautious of what I say and what I think to myself and I’ve learned a lot about respecting other people’s feelings, choices, and differences; mostly just from meeting people on Instagram who are different from me, and I feel like an internally much better person than I was a few years ago. I'm very grateful for Instagram and following people who’ve taught me so much about myself and ignorant words or ideas I wasn’t even aware of using/having. Thanks, Instagram!
{i'm sorry for the horrible updating (read: nonexistent)}
RANT
Jag överväger just nu ifall jag ska ta en springtur ute eftersom gatorna inte är täckta av is längre och jag verkligen känner för att göra det. Jag hatar att springa där alla kan se mig och jag är orolig över att träffa någon som kanske känner igen mig men ugh. Varför tänker jag ens på det här?! JAG SKA GÅ UT OCH SPRINGA. JAG SKA LYSSNA PÅ HÖG JÄKLA MUSIK OCH SPRINGA MED STOLTHET OKEJ FÖR JAG GÖR DEFINITIVT MER ÄN DOM SOM SITTER PÅ SOFFAN. *suck* Ge mig mod någon?
Thrilled
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
Intrude my privacy
I have a lot of new followers, and I just got a comment that my blog have become boring and that I need to get more personal, so here we go. Comment a number/numbers and I'll answer it truthfully, hit me hard!
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
4. Are you easy to get alone with?
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
7. Do you think you'll be in a relationship two months from now?
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
15. What good thing happened this summer?
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
19. Do you like bubble baths?
20. Do you like your neighbors?
21. What are you bad habits?
22. Where would you like to travel?
23. Do you have trust issues?
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
26. What do you do when you wake up?
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
29. Have any of your ex's told you they regret breaking up?
30. Do you ever want to get married?
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
33. Spell your name with your chin.
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
40. What do you want to do after high school?
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
43. Do you smile at strangers?
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
46. What are you paranoid about?
47. Have you ever been high?
48. Have you ever been drunk?
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
53. Favourite makeup brand?
54. Favourite store?
55. Favourite blog?
56. Favourite colour?
57. Favourite food?
58. Last thing you ate?
59. First thing you ate this morning?
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
62. Been arrested? For what?
63. Ever been in love?
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
65. Are you hungry right now?
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
67. Facebook or Twitter?
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
69. Are you watching tv right now?
70. Names of your bestfriends?
71. Craving something? What?
72. What colour are your towels?
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
75. Favourite animal?
76. What colour is your underwear?
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
80. What colour pants?
81. Favourite tv show?
82. Favourite movie?
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
87. First person you talked to today?
88. Last person you talked to today?
89. Name a person you hate?
90. Name a person you love?
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
92. In a fight with someone?
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
95. Last movie you watched?
96. Favourite actress?
97. Favourite actor?
98. Do you tan a lot?
99. Have any pets?
100. How are you feeling?
101. Do you type fast?
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
103. Can you spell well?
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
106. Ever broken someone's heart?
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
108. What should you be doing?
109. Is something irritating you right now?
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
111. Do you have trust issues?
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
113. What was your childhood nickname?
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
115. Do you play the Wii?
116. Are you listening to music right now?
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
118. Do you like Chinese food?
119. Favourite book?
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
121. Are you mean?
122. Is cheating ever okay?
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
125. Do you believe in true love?
126. Are you currently bored?
127. What makes you happy?
128. Would you change your name?
129. What your zodiac sign?
130. Do you like subway?
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
132. Who's the last person you had a deep conversation with?
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
134. Can you count to one million?
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
137. How tall are you?
138. Curly or Straight hair?
139. Brunette or Blonde?
140. Summer or Winter?
141. Night or Day?
142. Favourite month?
143. Are you a vegetarian?
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
145. Tea or Coffee?
146. Was today a good day?
147. Mars or Snickers?
148. What's your favourite quote?
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
150. Get the closet book next to you, open it to page 42, what's the first line on that page?