make yourself happy -

if you want things to stay as they are things will have to change

date: 2012-12-23

time: 19:25:59

i want to know more about you.

no not the name of your home town or where you went to school or whether or not you have brothers and sisters.

i want to know if your brows furrow when you think and if your eyes change color to match your clothes. i want to know how many pillows you use when you sleep and the last thought in your head before you do. i want to know what makes you cry and if you ever pray. i want to know the distance between your shoulder blades and if they freckle in the sun. i want to know if your hands are rough or smooth and if there is a downy tuft at the small of your back. i want to know if you sing in the shower and the scent of your shampoo. i want to know your unspeakable fantasies and if you ever feel afraid.

but more than anything i want to know if you want to know about me too.

deep thoughts and unpopular opinions /

/ 0 comments

life is like art. you have to work hard to keep it simple and still have meaning.

date: 2012-12-22

time: 22:29:36

bardot bella lace dress bardot.com.au

pull & bear denim studded vest pullandbear.com

black studded combat boots etsy.com

dannijo pammy bracelet dannijo.com

dita von teese nail lacquer debenhams.com

golden vintage lipstick artdeco.de

things i like /

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perfection.

date: 2012-12-22

time: 01:12:29

i would go lesbian for her she's perf omfg

deep thoughts and unpopular opinions /

/ 1 comments

omg i'm thirsting so bad for this pls give me money

date: 2012-12-22

time: 01:03:05

things i like /

/ 0 comments

art is a kind of illness.

date: 2012-12-21

time: 22:07:19

hi y'all i'm not really in a writing mood so this will probably come out short and head-on the subject even though i don't even know what the subject will turn out to be. oh well let me tell you about my day. i now officially have christmas holiday and i'm surprisingly enough not as happy as i usually am about that. i will miss my classmates bc tbh they're the best class ever and my heart aches when i think about what a short time we have left together ugh. i got my grades and i'm not very content with them but i never will be until i have a:s in everything so i'll have to let it go i guess.

the schoolday today was basically: cleaning out my locker, cleaning our classroom, go to church and listen to the school choir's concert and then back to school to eat and get my grades. i'd like to tell you about the concert but i don't know how to type it to make it understandable so i'll just skip that. okay i'll try. three boys stopped in the middle of the song they were singing and dedicated one directions song 'what makes you beautiful' to one of the teachers and idk how i feel about them reminding me of 1d in school so i got both irritated and amused so idk but i guess it was pretty damn fun anyways ugh???

when i got home i showed my grades to my mom and she started nagging on me that i had to count my points and check if i would be getting into the school i want to and i got a headache and yeah i didn't do it i don't even know what i'm saying sry. she was proud of me though is guess but ugh i can't absorb the compliments about me being intelligent and hard-working and such a good student it's like i'm waterproof and the compliments are water so they're just kind of floating off of me immediately. like in school all my teachers also says to me that i'm really clever but i kind of just look at them as if they're the stupidest people i've ever met bc i just can't ugh no. honestly every single on of my teachers are saying that if i'll just gain more confidence and actually start believing i can do stuff i would get higher grades so that's something i'm gonna have to work on.

however i've also cleaned my entire room and watched the movie 'a cinderella story' (I FRICKIN LOVE HILARY DUFF OKAY) and i've showered and exercised. btw my appetite sucks and i'm never hungry (what's wrong with me??? seriously getting tired of this). all i've eaten today is oatmeal (like 3 spoons???), 2 clementines, a banana, a little pasta, chocolate and crispbread. oh well maybe it was more than i thought idk. i bought a magazine that i haven't even glanced at so i might read that a little now but i'm not sure. idk what to say so uhh yeah. this became way longer than i though it would so bless you if you've read this whole thing omg haha. bye love you.

what's life??? /

/ 0 comments

my bucket list {{will be updated}}

date: 2012-12-19

time: 22:55:00

have a baby

be a good parent

be called mommy

watch my children get married

have a snowball fight with someone i love

have a white christmas

kiss under a mistletoe

not be single on valentine's day

experience christmas in new york

have a perfect valentine's day with someone i love

kiss someone i love on new year's eve

learn fluent italian

learn how to drive

learn to play piano

dance with my dad at my wedding

get engaged

have a perfect wedding

design my own wedding cake

have my father walk me down the aisle

have my grandparents at my wedding

be the maid of honor in a wedding

shove cake in my partner's face at our wedding

have my parents there the day i get married

find the perfect wedding dress

be a bridesmaid

visit a chocolate factory

visit the biltmore estate

make a wish at the trevi fountain in rome

walk through central park in the snow

kiss on bow bridge in central park

see stonehenge

ice skate in central park

visit the winter palace

visit niagara falls

visit the mall of america

visit the palace of versailles

visit buckingham palace

see the northern lights

see the eiffel tower

hold a baby panda

ride a horse

ride a horse on the beach

watch baby turtles hatch

wear a corset

shop at forever 21

shop in new york city

have a job that travels

open my own business

open a bakery

watch the sunset with someone i love

find shapes in the clouds with someone i love

cuddle under the stars

attach a lock to a love bridge

take cute kissing pictures in a photo booth

fall asleep in his arms

kiss in the rain

travel to wales

visit paris

have perfect teeth

have my dream body

try tiramisu

try pasta in italy

eat a cannoli in italy

eat a cake without using my hands

make a rainbow cake

eat a crêpe in france

kiss in a snowstorm

surprise him with a kiss

kiss at the top of the empire state building

kiss under a rainbow

kiss under the eiffel tower

kiss in the snow

kiss on the beach at sunset

get kissed under a waterfall

kiss under fireworks

kiss at the top of a ferris wheel

have my first kiss

kiss underwater

own a huge makeup collection

live in france

live in new york city

live in a big house

move to a different country

live in london

own a nikon

own a macbook

own an iphone 4s

have a walk-in-closet

own a pair of ray-bans

have my own star

own an iphone

build something at build-a-bear

go on vacation by myself

throw a pool party

have a luxurious bathroom in my future house

live in a house with an indoor pool

watch a flash mob

name a star

curl up with someone special and watch the snow fall

cuddle in front of the fireplace with someone i love

build a snowman with someone i love

put a christmas tree with him

spend christmas in london

spend christmas in paris

be woken up with a kiss

play spin the bottle

kiss in the back of a taxi

kiss under the northern lights

send a letter to a random adress and see if they write back

watch every movie marilyn monroe acted in

learn how to do a cartwheel

tie messages to balloons and let them go

visit cinque terre

carve something into a tree together

take polaroid pictures with the one i love

try beignets

be able to do a proper push-up

finish an entire eraser

drive the atlantic ocean road

travel the world without a destination going wherever the road takes me

visit strawberry fields in central park

make my own melted crayon art

watch the sunset from inside the eiffel tower

watch titanic with someone i love

visit glass beach

own something from swarowski crystal

play hide and seek in ikea

have floating lanterns at my wedding

cuddle and listen to his heartbeat

have a paint fight

go on a romantic date in italy

own a typewriter

have a whipped cream fight

go to a drive-in movie

read 365 books in a year

catch a jar of lightning bugs

trade ipods with someone for a day

feel breathless after a kiss

have a candle-lit bath

plan my best friend's wedding (probably won't be allowed to though hahahah)

roast marshmallows on a campfire

meet my online friends

see the ball drop on new year's in new york

own a car

swim in the sea while it rains

play truth or dare with my crush

travel with my best friend

visit starbucks

lay under the stars with a special someone

dance in the rain

visit los angeles

go to land's end in cornwall, england

participate in a color run

take part in a flash mob

be an exchange student

own a wreck this journal

ride a double decker bus with my best friend

recieve an anonymous love letter

own a pair of christian louboutins

date a british boy

eat italian pizza in italy

go to germany

go to italy

eat a starfruit

go water skiing

go scuba diving

visit disneyland

learn how to surf

learn fluent spanish

grow old with the person i love

meet bruno mars

go to china

move back to my hometown

meet coldplay

experience new year's eve in paris

meet an eskimo

see earth from outer space

visit times square

visit rome

participate in a pie-eating contest

meet zac efron

drive an expensive car

find a four-leaf clover

have sex on the beach

stand under the hollywood sign

get drunk

meet rihanna

go on a vacation somewhere exotic

visit canada

party all night without stopping for sleep

fly in first class

attend at a pool party

run a marathon

sleep on the beach

go to switzerland

go to russia

see the golden gate bridge

see the great wall of china

fly in a helicopter

attend at a fashionshow

visit a walk-through-aquarium

pay for a stranger's groceries

see a tornado

visit taj mahal

visit titanic with a submarine

have a food fight

meet hilary duff

go to spain

find someone's lost pet

read all harry potter books

live for a hundred years

own an owl

meet ryan gosling

move far away

become a millionare

go to brazil

learn french

meet johnny depp

visit louvre

move to hawaii

go on safari

have a one-night-stand

drive on route 66

visit walk of fame

visit mount rushmore

plant a tree

visit grand canyon

bungeejump

visit auschwitz

swim with dolphins

go to mexico

visit chichen itza

visit milan

ride a camel

ride an elephant

hold a koala

visit venice

visit florence

go grape stomping

paraglide off the alps

publish a book

set a foot in each of the 7 continents

have a birthday party in las vegas

scuba dive in the great barrier reef

camp in yellowstone national park

visit jerusalem

visit istanbul

be in ireland during st. patrick's day

see the tulips in holland

hold a snake

spend a night in a really fancy hotel

go to the top of the eiffel tower

feed a kangaroo

go to the top of the empire state building

go to new york

go to australia

go to ibiza

witness a wedding proposal

attend a masquerade ball

go parasailing

swing on a trapeze

complete a 5k

ride a motorcycle

go geo caching

sleep under the stars

go on a trap without planning ahead

visit the pyramids

bake a cake for someone for no reason

go to broadway and enjoy a musical

walk on the great wall of china

swim with sharks

lists /

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what is life? it is the flash of a firefly in the night. it is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. it is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.

date: 2012-12-19

time: 14:53:00

go ahead and text him first. he might be checking his phone waiting for you.

stare into the eyes of the person you like and memorize the color.

turn on your ipod and run as far as you can.

say hi to a stranger. you never know what they'll become for you.

have a mental health day because you know you need it.

don't go on internet for a day and see what you can accomplish.

tell that one person that you like them. what's the worst that can happen? maybe they don't like you back but then they don't deserve you anyways.

treat yourself to something indulgent because you deserve it.

smile at a stranger. it could make their day.

go for someone who is totally wrong for you. they may not be totally wrong after all.

stand up for yourself. if you don't who will?

this is the purpose of yolo. not going out having unprotected sex not caring about the consequences. it's about making this life as good as you can, becuase who knows how long it lasts?

deep thoughts and unpopular opinions /

/ 0 comments

know what you want to do hold the thought firmly and do every day what should be done and every sunset will see you that much nearer the goal.

date: 2012-12-19

time: 13:56:57

wow today just might have been one of the most pointless days ever. we had two lessons today where we didn't do anything worth doing and not only that but between these classes we had a break longer than one hour consisting of nothing worth doing. on the other hand i've been clarified of what grades i'll be getting in math, physics, biology, chemistry, history, religion, civics and geography. D A B B C D C C. i'm not happy about this since i'm a hundred percent positive i could've done so much better if i actually would have poured my soul and heart into this but what's done is done and i'll just have to step up and do my absolute best after christmas instead. hope you had a great day so far and i'll probably write here later but if not bye!

what's life??? /

/ 0 comments

the painter should not paint what he sees but what will be seen

date: 2012-12-18

time: 16:42:00

omg today was probably the worst day of my life or at least a real shitty one. already when i woke up my mood was terrible and i actually even thought about not going to school. however i still ate breakfast and straightened my hair and put on makeup and all of that but like after that i just layed in my bed thinking about how much i just wanted to stay in it all day long. even though my day actually wasn't that terrible thinking of my lessons and all of that there's just been something bringing my mood down and i don't even know what it is. actually everyone's been really nice and polite and funny today and basically none of my lessons has been a pain in the ass but like still ugh i don't know.

first thing in the morning we had p.e. and we did this fitness test and before that i felt so sick like i would throw up any moment but i actually did better than i have in a lot of years on the test so that felt really good bc that way i know my exercising is showing off which feels soooo nice. after that we had a math test and hopefully it went pretty well even though i couldn't solve all problems but yeah over-all i think it went well. idk why i'm telling you about every lesson but whatever - moving on. on the swedish lesson we watched the first part of an english christmas movie and with only english subtitles so i honestly don't really know why we watched it on the swedish lesson but whatever i love english so like no problem thank you very much???

then it was lunch and like you probably remember from yesterday i'm feeling sick whenever i'm eating and today hasn't been an exception so i almost didn't eat anything but i wasn't even hungry so i guess no harm or well yes harm idk what i'm saying sry. then we had art (i love that class bc i've always loved painting and creating and things like that) and i finished a painting we've been working on for like 8 weeks or something (???) and i swear i had heart palpitations bc it didn't went like i expected it too and i always get upset when something like that happens when i'm the only one responsible and like the colors were messing with me today and i couldn't blend it perfectly and hahahah omg i sound like a freak now but whatever. in the end of that lesson the teacher took me aside and told me that i would be getting the grade A so i guess that's great bc it's as high on the scale as you can get but for some reason i still don't feel like i'm worth it and i'm not at all as happy as i could be and when he told me he was like "you almost look angry were you hoping for another grade???" and i was like "no, sry i'm just no good at reacting to things like this" and he was like "oh okay" and i don't know why i'm telling you this omg. then we had a terribly boring lesson where we're supposed to catch up with work we haven't finished but i'm done with everything cause it's like only a couple of days left on this term so i spent 40 minutes reading an awful book so that sucked. the last lesson (english) we watched the rest of that christmas movie and in the end of that class we also got a surprise which was that tomorrow we're gonna be able to sleep a little longer since our first lesson would be cancelled bc our teacher had to be home taking care of her sick kids so we also have no homework for tomorrow which is awesome so to sum this day up it should have been one of the best days ever but it's been totally the opposite which sucks ugh. i'm just gonna spend the rest of the night in my bed maybe watching some movies or something and then i also need to exercise but that'll be later.

now this was a hell of a post don't you think??? i guess my writing ability is back or what do you think??? i'm sorry if anyone's actually reading this omfg bless your soul ilysm bye.

what's life??? /

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pictures from my trip to cape verde earlier this year and yes it was so beautiful

date: 2012-12-17

time: 22:22:20

hello again. i'm doing nothing but chillin' atm which i absolutely shouldn't do bc i have a math exam tomorrow omg??? i need to get to that but idk man i probably won't. i seriously have no interest in school anymore which is extremely annoying bc when i was a kid i loved school and i felt so cool when i got homework and it was like the best thing in the world omg i was insane??? i just wish it could still be like that bc let's be honest that would be awesome. at least it's only a couple of days left and then i have a holiday and some time to rest and hopefully find some motivation for schoolwork which i highly doubt but i'm gonna keep my hopes up bc you know anything is possible if you just believe??? btw i love how carefree i can be on this blog bc like in school and everywhere else i've always been like a freak when it comes to spelling and capital letters and punctuation and all that crap but here none of those things exists and it feels good man. it's just so flowing and comfortable to read don't you agree???

other than that i've been terribly bad with my exercising for a couple of days but thankfully my motivation is back and i think all that was needed was a couple of days off. i have a concern though. i have no appetite anymore??? like when i wake up breakfast is the last thing i want and as soon as i eat something i feel sick??? can anyone pls tell me what's going on bc like i've always loved food but now i'm only feeling sick when i eat and nothing looks or tastes or feels appealing anymore and it scares me ugh. maybe i need to have more variation in my food or something idk. let's just hope it turns back to normal asap.

wow now i feel like my thoughts are kind of just spilling out of my brain and flowing down in my fingers so i guess i'll just keep on writing then??? this has nothing to do with anything but omg i couldn't fall asleep last night I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP IT'S THE WORST.

BTW AND THIS IS ALSO OUT OF NOWHERE my life has changed so incredibly much in just like 6 months omg??? like if i think back 6 months ago i had a boyfriend (well we broke up like around 6 months ago but whatever) i was so unhealthy omg and like everything was different and now when i look at where i stand and who i am today i'm feeling nothing but pride it's such an amazing feeling omfg. i'm so proud for stepping out of my comfort zone and i mean look at how far i've come i'm so proud i don't even care if i sound selfish now but i'm awesome.

well this post was a random one with a lot of different things involved and i wanna say sorry to everyone who reads this bless your soul ily ok.

what's life??? /

/ 0 comments

when a young man complains that a young lady has no heart it's pretty certain that she has his.

date: 2012-12-17

time: 17:59:24

i know this is my personal blog and that i'm supposed to be able to vent here but i have a feeling that a lot of people who know me in real life is following this blog and no matter how much i want to vent right now i can't and it's kinda depressing. i can't even tell what kind of venting there would be because then everyone would know everything. but, moving on..

i know i've barely updated at all here but i'm stuck in a period of time where i can't turn my feelings into words like i usually can. my days aren't very interesting either so i can't tell you about that.

well actually there's this one thing that's been bothering me. i don't know if this is serious or not but i've developed a fear towards some foods and that's kind of scary. i've never been afraid of food and i honestly always thought that that wasn't possible for me but i guess it is.. as an example: soda. i'm afraid of soda. i've been researching a lot about it and how toxic it is for the body but i mean i still never thought it would be this bad. during christmas in sweden it's popular to drink a soda called "julmust" and i really like it and i've been telling myself that it's okay for me to drink it because christmas is only once a year you know but i just can't. yesterday i even had a nightmare about soda I MEAN HOW WIERD IS THAT??? i don't want to have "fear foods".

other than that my mood is actually pretty much amazing nowadays. i only have one week left in school and it's christmas soon and ahhh i'm excited. harry is still ruining my life with his perfection so i guess my life isn't changing drastically at the moment at least. i really don't know what more to say so i guess this is goodbye.

what's life??? /

/ 0 comments

"if this gets more than ____ notes i won't kill myself tonight"

date: 2012-12-14

time: 17:49:00

i’m a little tired of seeing these. i don’t think the number of notes can measure how valuable you are. don’t you think it’s silly to put your life in the hands of a post? you and i both know that there is at least one person in the world that would be devastated if you left this world. a bunch of strangers online - no matter how many - would never be able to care or replace the people you know in real life. don’t put that kind of responsibility on bloggers. notes are just a number. it will not save you and it will not make your life any better or worse than it is now. you have to fight for that. and remember that you are never going to be put in a situation where you can’t win. it’ll take time and it’ll take effort but you stand a chance for certain.

deep thoughts and unpopular opinions /

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don't mind me, just having harry feels again

date: 2012-12-06

time: 23:58:00

this is honestly a recurring issue for me. i know it's so incredibly stupid but i honestly like have a problem. it's not some stupid crush on a member of a boy band. harry girls fall in love with harry. i don't know how it is for other girls but with harry you can't just be like "oh he's cute" and leave it at that. it's like you fall in love with him. every physical aspect of him. his accent. the way he says "us". how caring he is. his inability to make jokes. even the way his feet are always pigeon toed. it's quite ridiculous really because how do i know he's like that in real life? it just sucks.

first i will never meet them. ever. and even if i did i'm nothing remarkable. to them i'm just another girl who's obsessed with them. i'm just going to be another face among a sea of screaming girls. i'm not funny or witty or even that pretty. nothing about me would catch their eye. it's not even that i want harry to fall in love with me because i know that will never happen. i just want to be friends with them.

like look at all the crazy shit they do. i just want to have as much fun as they do and if i were able to spend even an hour with them i think my life would be complete. i'm ranting. i'm sorry if anyone's actually reading this.

it's just one huge depressing mess when i realize that they mean so much to me and i'll never mean a damn thing to them. i'm 15 and spend hours staring at pictures of harry. it's stupid and i don't even understand it anymore. i honestly just don't get it. i don't know. it just sucks so fucking badly.

feels /

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bold what's true:

date: 2012-12-05

time: 18:09:26

it’s night right now
there’s something else you should be doing at the moment
you ate chicken today
you are lactose intolerant
there’s a nearby tv on
you get along with your neighbors
twilight is a horrible series
you’re hungry right now
you have worked out today
running a mile sounds awful
you have a job
you love to bake christmas cookies
your parents are still together
you woke up before 8 this morning
baths are better than showers
you are 5’5” or shorter
you hate british accents
victoria’s secret is a good store
cats are better than dogs
the 90’s sucked
your cell phone is right next to you
your favorite color is either blue or purple
your hair is short
you are by yourself right now
the last thing you drank was water
you’re in your pj’s right now
your hair color is natural
fred from youtube is annoying
you don’t drink soda
there’s at least 20$ in your wallet
it’s cold out
orange juice is better than apple juice
you love someone right now
video games are awesome
your sheets are white
you have read works by shakespeare before
you’re fat
you’ve been professionally diagnosed with a psychological disorder
you know someone in the hospital right now
you’ve showered today
you know someone who has beaten cancer
sneakers are your favorite shoes to wear
chocolate is better than vanilla
you’re allergic to peanuts
you’ve never been to new york
you’ve never been on a varsity sports team
you want to go to europe
you’re using a laptop right now
plastic surgery is a good idea
vanilla is the best scent a girl can wear
you’ve made yourself throw up
you’ve cheated on someone before
you have a broken heart at the moment
your friends do drugs
school is too early
your nails have nail polish on them right now
you’re italian
you have a tan right now
you’ve been on a diet before
you shop in plus sized clothing stores
hot topic is scary
there are socks on your feet right now
you’ve used a hair straightener
shopping online is easier than shopping in an actual store
you’re in verizon’s network
cheesecake is delicious
your bmi falls into the overweight category
you have gotten your hair cut in the past month
your birthday is within the next 2 months
you’ve been rejected
comedies are better than action films
math is the best subject
you are fluent in more than one language
you love greek food
you consider yourself a picky eater
you have more than 3 pillows on your bed
you live with your parents
you’re happy right now
you are a high school graduate
you have a pet cat
you were born before april 5th, 1991
you have brown hair
you have blue eyes
you last name is longer than 5 letters long
you are in a relationship
you can count to 20 in another language
you have studied a foreign language
you voted in the 2008 presidential election
you own a vehicle that is older than a 2004
you have worked 3rd shift
you have worked in a fast food restaurant
you drove somewhere that was further than a half hour away today
you live in new jersey
you live in montana
you live in pennsylvania
your last name begins with a ‘m’
your middle name begins with a ‘c’
your first name begins with a ‘s’
you are older than 19
you are younger than 16
you are an only child
your parents are divorced
you have more than one sibling
you are an aquarius
you are a vegetarian
you have a gym membership
you are in the military
you have a relative in the military
you have been to canada
you have been to mexico
you have been to europe
you are currently enrolled in college/university
you have done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
you have braces
you wear contact lenses
you have a tattoo on your ankle
you have a tattoo on your wrist
you have a tattoo on your lower back
you have a tattoo on your upper arm
you have a lip piercing
you have a tongue piercing
you have your nipples pierced
you have your cartilage pierced
you have curly hair
you have received flowers from someone in the last 2 months
you are engaged
you are married
you have children
you are an aunt or uncle
your bedroom walls are blue
your bedspread is red
your bedroom carpet is beige
you have been out to eat at a sit-down restaurant in the last week
you have been drunk in the past 24 hours
you have lost your virginity before you turned 15
you are bisexual
you watch scrubs
you watch jon & kate plus 8
you watch american idol
you have been to the movies within the last month
you have cursed in front of your grandparents
you had a lunch box with a cartoon character on it when you were little
you actually pay attention to politics
you are still waiting for your first kiss
you have kissed someone within the last week
you have kissed three or more people this year
you would kiss the last person you kissed again
you were told you looked cute today
you were hugged today
your best friend is the opposite sex
you have paid more than $100 on one item of clothing
you had a date to prom
you are a good speller
you are always on time
you believe in karma
you have done something illegal within the last 24 hours
you have thrown up within the last 6 months
you have ridden an elevator within the last 3 days
you have spent the night at someone else’s house within the last 2 weeks
you have been out of the country within the last year
you love chinese food
you love italian food
you love mexican food
you love country music
you love rap
you love hip hop
you love punk rock
you love hard rock
you love metal
you love classic rock
you love bluegrass
you love oldies
you love techno
you love instrumental music
you have taken pictures of yourself just because you were bored
you know someone younger than 10 who passed away
you have been in a car wreck
you have had stitches
you have a parent who is a teacher
you have a checking account
you have a debit card
you have a currently have a $2 bill in your possession
you have dated someone who was 2 years younger than you
you have dated someone who was 2 years older than you
you have broke up with someone for someone else
you have cheated on someone
you have been cheated on
you are catholic
you are mormon
you are buddhist
you are agnostic
you wish at 11:11
you have had your current job for more than 3 months
you have had your heart broken
you broke someone else’s heart
you felt bad about it
you have an aunt karen
you have an uncle bill
you have a cousin sarah
you have a cousin adam
you have worked with a danielle
you have ridden in a car with a stephen
you have hugged a tiffany
you have kissed a blake
you have had class with a david
you have had a crush on an emily
you have dated a derek
you have been neighbors with a hannah
you have done something just for the fact that you were old enough to
you have been to a cemetary at midnight
you have been a vampire for halloween
you have been a witch for halloween
you have been a pumpkin for Halloween
you have stayed up for 48 hours straight
you have been to walmart within the last 3 days
you own a pair of scrubs
you own a cowboy hat
you own a leather coat
you are missing someone right now
you have been let down recently
you have had someone you thought you could trust betray you
you would rather have a one-night stand than a relationship
you would rather win $500 from the lottery, than guest on a game show
you have met someone famous

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all i want for christmas is harry styles naked in my bed.

date: 2012-12-05

time: 00:01:00

today has been such a stressed out day so i haven't really had time to blog anything, but i do now so i guess you all should be happy right? :)))

i don't have anything to say really. it's a busy week. today i've cheated a bit and felt horrible afterwards (not guilt, my body just doesn't react well to unhealthy stuff) and i haven't eaten anything since because i've been feeling sick non-stop ugh... i've been drinking a lot of water though so hopefully all toxins and stuff will be out of my body before i know it.

i've just finished up my speech for tomorrow too, and i will be talking about soda and the effects it has on the human body. i was going to speak about health in general at first, but i got an anxiety attack and ugh it was so bad so no, i will go with this instead. wish me luck?? xx

other than that my beautiful boy wasn't harmed at MSG so i'm really happy about that. will i ever get past this stage of my life??? god i care too much about harry.

i'm going to bed now, but i'll probably write something tomorrow. byeeee

what's life??? /

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do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.

date: 2012-12-03

time: 19:31:28

OMFG MY HEAD IS SERIOUSLY ABOUT TO EXPLODE

all this fucking drama around my five precious boys is getting out of control. so apparently tonight when they're having their concert in MSG three of the boys - harry, louis and niall are in danger, and some people even say one of the boys will get shot and die. WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE??? i seriously can't handle all drama right now ugh.

besides that drama i have a fucking shitload of homework that needs to get done and i have no energy.

tuesday: speech in swedish about health, math homework

wednesday: test concerning genetics

thursday: spanish words, test concerning politics

i know i'm a lazy ass when it comes to stuff i really need to do, but i hope i can bring myself to realize that i need to do it. wish me luck and let's hope that all rumors are only rumors i guess???

what's life??? /

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kill me now

date: 2012-12-02

time: 13:04:53

harry has just the perfect personality with his lame jokes that he laughs at he is just so cute and would be the best boyfriend and would just cheer you up all the time and make you laugh and hug you and whisper funny things in your ear and rub your back and want to just lay around all day with you and just tease each other GOD

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laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live.

date: 2012-12-01

time: 20:53:03

if you could have one super power what would it be?

i think it would be invisibility. yeah. definitely.

if you could switch places with anyone, who would it be and why?

my best friend only to see what i look like through a close friend's eye.

what would be your dream job?

either a dietitian or some kind of job where i get to travel the world. i wish to see every country before i die so i better get started soon.

favorite animal?

giraffes.

a place you want to go before you die?

venice or (and) new york or (and) london or (and) rome

do you have any hidden talents?

lol not really. at least not any that comes to mind.

do you have any phobias?

i don't know if it counts as a phobia but i hate crowded areas and i can't handle it. like even in school when i'm in line to get food, if people are pushing from behind and it starts getting crowded i let them get food before me.

favorite thing about autumn?

knitted sweaters, the leaves turning from green to strong beautiful colors like red and yellow, and the cold crisp air.

how many siblings do you have?

none. well i do. but not any that i'm completely related to. my mum have two children with another man and so does my dad with another woman.

favorite dessert of all time?

holy crap, kladdkaka!!! don't know the translation to that unfortunately but OMG IT'S SO GOOD

what is the hardest thing you've ever had to do?

wow i honestly don't know

what is your favorit color to wear?

purple even though i never actually do wear it lol

what zodiac sign are you?

aries

where were you born?

linköping

a country you would love to visit?

omg this is such a hard question i mean only one??? what the he.... uhm well australia, usa or england (did anyone say hot men???)

summer or winter?

i was actually thinking about this today and i actually prefer winters. even though it's cold and dark it's still so lovely and almost everyone's in a good mood and you can light up candles and watch the snow fall and snuggle up in warm clothes and watch movies and drink tea and there's christmas and new year's eve and yeah, i love winter.

person that understands you the most?

a person that wrote me a couple of weeks ago, like yikes we were so alike. we don't talk that much though, but she really did understand me.

favorite nut butter? (almond, peanut, etc.)

i've only tried almond and peanut and i love both but i actually prefer almond

how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

if we're including breakfast; one and a half hour

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wish on everything. pink cars are good, especially old ones. and stars of course, first stars and shooting stars. planes will do if they are the first light in the sky and look like stars. wish in tunnels, holding your breath and lifting your feet off the ground. birthday candles. baby teeth.

date: 2012-12-01

time: 19:45:00

what people don't understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you're eleven you're also ten and nine and eight and seven and six and five and four and three and two and one. and when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven but you don't. you open your eyes and everything's just like yesterday only it's today. and you don't feel eleven at all. you feel like you're still ten. and you are - underneath the year that makes you eleven.

like some days you might say something stupid and that's the part of you that's still ten. or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mum's lap because you're scared and that's the part of you that's five. and maybe one day when you're all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you're three and that's okay. that's what i tell people when they're sad and need to cry. maybe they're feeling three.

because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like those little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other because each year you're inside the next one. that's how being eleven years old is.

you don't feel eleven. not right away. it takes a few days or weeks and sometimes months before you say eleven when they ask you. and you don't feel smart eleven not until you're almost twelve. that's the way it is.

deep thoughts and unpopular opinions /

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let's be naughty and save santa the trip

date: 2012-12-01

time: 16:46:00

today has been such a good day. i woke up with a smile on my lips and incredibly enough it's actually still here. but hey, it's december, who's got time to be sad?

i killed my entire body today during my workout too so i'm pretty exhausted - but in a good way. i love the feeling you get after an amazing workout woho! i can't believe we're at the end of the year because this year has gone by so fast. i've both started and ended my very first real relationship, i've been abroad, i've changed my lifestyle (!!), i've made new incredible friends, harry styles happened and i've just changed so so much in a year. i'm so happy and proud over where i stand today and despite some problems at home and a lot of mood swings i couldn't be happier and i think you could say this has been the best year of my entire life no matter how cheesy that sounds. i hope you're as happy as i am lovelies.

what's life??? /

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