harry is ripping me apart
date: 2012-11-30 
time: 20:20:35
time: 20:20:35can you imagine having a daughter with harry and when she's older and starts dating and harry gets all protective of her and tells the guy he better treat his daughter right or else and when she's out too late he'll get worried and start getting pissed and you'll hug him from behind and plant soft kisses on him to calm him down and at first you think it isn't working but then he turns around amirking and plants a soft kiss on your lips wow welp i'm gonna go swim in some lava for a bit seeya later
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beauty contests are nothing more than an exhibition of the female body, that is extremely unfortunate. real beauty lies in one's intellect, not in nudity.
date: 2012-11-29 time: 17:15:00
time: 17:15:00i've been thinking a lot about beauty this week, and i can sum up my overwhelming thoughts in 2 bullet points:
- who the fuck even decided what beautiful is? like from an anthropological point of view, why is a certain look considered beautiful and others aren’t? like your face is just made up of skin and bone and flesh, and every face is different. your body is just a body; it holds your brain and soul and gets you from a to b and lets you reproduce and experience pleasure. why is one more aesthetically pleasing than the other? it’s so stupidly bizarre, when you think about it.
- why is this ideal of beauty so celebrated? like if someone looks ‘good’… so fucking what? what does that even mean, really? surely life is about our intelligence and heart, and the relationships we build with others and the amazing experiences we have, like going skydiving or reading a book that really touches us or going to a live gig that changes our whole outlook on life. and laughing - laughing is good. i’d take happy and healthy over beautiful any day. beauty is not eternal anyways, everyone looks grey and wrinkly when they’re old!
i kind of thought about this in a weird/slightly offensive context, too. and even though there's a risk that i'm coming across as rude or whatever, i want to share it with you. i was looking at one of those inspirational blogs i usually love about people who have been bullied for their appearance or whatever but are starting to see their true beauty. i looked at a picture of a girl saying “despite my braces and glasses and spots i am beautiful”. and while i totally agree with loving yourself, it suddenly hit me how odd it was that she was so desperate to feel beautiful. because really, why do we care so bloody much about being physically attractive? why don’t we instead celebrate our brains and personality and our compassion? yes, it’s awesome she’s confident in her appearance. it just suddenly seemed so alien and strange to me that it would even be an issue. society is weird.
if someone tells me i look nice, it doesn’t honestly affect me that much. i just think “okay, that’s cool”. similarly, if i receive nasty comments saying i look ugly or whatever, i don’t give much of a shit either. but if someone tells me i'm a nice person, or that i make them laugh, or that they love my writing? that shit makes me feel on top of the world. so beauty? go fuck yourself. i’d love to see the media do a full circle and realize how superficial and pointless beauty is, and start focusing on what really matters. but until then, i’m happy beginning the revolution in my own head. it’s about time, after all.
deep thoughts and unpopular opinions /
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fucking christmas-y boyfriend feels please disappear
date: 2012-11-28 time: 22:26:40
time: 22:26:40okay i just wanna live with harry in a cute little apartment and decorate for christmas with him and light up scented candles with him and sometimes he’ll randomly start singing a christmas song to you and watch old christmas movies with him and bake christmas cookies for him and then when you give him the cookies he kisses you on the cheek and says “thank you, love” and then you cuddle for the rest of the night and ugh im going to get therapy bye
earporn feels /
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you are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you
date: 2012-11-28 time: 19:46:41
time: 19:46:41
please god i've been really good this year can i get all of these now??
thanks in advance.
(harry styles' fine too if you'd like)
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if you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there.
date: 2012-11-28 time: 19:06:14
time: 19:06:14i don't really know exactly why but this day has been a really good one. the first snow (well not exactly, but the first snow that actually layered on the ground then) arrived, i'm done with a book report that should have been done three weeks ago (oups). i've watched a movie, painted my nails, cleaned my room, and now i'm sitting here thinking about if i should workout now or later. this day has been so busy but i've still managed to finish so many things and i'm still not stressed out, and usually i'm always stressed out even when i'm not doing a shit of what i should be doing and am just laying in my bed. this has been a productive day and i love it. i hope you're feeling well today too because you all deserve it!
what's life??? /
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you don't love someone because of their looks or their clothes or their cars. you love them because they sing a song that nobody but you can understand.
date: 2012-11-28 time: 18:44:03
time: 18:44:03
i wish this was in my closet so bad. along with harry styles of course.
things i like /
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i need a therapist please
date: 2012-11-27 time: 22:22:18
time: 22:22:18so i just had a little peek into the hopeful future and basically i'm sitting on a couch, reading a book in one of harry’s hoodies and leggings with a cup of tea in my hand and it's snowing and harry comes home and he goes “hey babe,” and he lifts my legs and plops down on the couch next to me and turns on the telly and then puts my feet in his lap and rubs up and down my leg while watching the telly and i sneak peeks at his beautiful face from behind the book and he catches me and gives me a cheeky grin and goes “what?” and i go “nothing,” and smile and stare at my book but his eyes are glued to me and then he licks his lips, takes the cup from my hand and takes a sip and i'm staring at him and he’s staring right back and he sighs happily and places the cup on the table and then leans toward me and his hand takes a firm grip of my face and he kisses me and pulls the book out of my hands and throws it back and inches closer until i'm basically sitting on his lap, snogging him in a warm cozy room while snow falls outside our little flat in london sigh i need a hospital now
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if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we're not really living.
date: 2012-11-27 time: 21:53:00
time: 21:53:00put your itunes on shuffle. give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
hAHAHahahA omg i never use itunes so this should be interesting because i only have 1D songs.
1. last first kiss
2. she's not afraid
3. little things
4. i wish (live)
5. rock me
6. live while we're young
if you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
harry styles???
grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.
"Yes, yes, I'm so, so sorry."
what do you think about most?
harry
what does your latest text message from someone else say?
"Vad?:)"
do you sleep with or without clothes on?
without. except on some days when i sleep with a winter jacket on lol
what's your strangest talent?
i'm talentless
girls... (finish the sentence); boys... (finish the sentence)
girls can either be really fucking annoying or the sweetest people on earth
boys are beautiful creatures omg
ever had a poem or song written about you?
haha omg yes actually several poems dear lord
when is the last time you played the air guitar?
just did it for you bby
do you have any strange phobias?
i can't sit on toilets
ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
no NO nopE
what's your religion?
idk none i guess. atheist would be the closest.
if you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
walking
do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
behind
simple but extremely complex. favorite band?
one direction daaah (i love coldplay also)
what was the last lie you told?
uhh idk
do you believe in karma?
ya
what does your url mean?
it means i live healthily and that this is my personal blog simple as that cool huh?
what is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
weakness: talking to people bahaha
strength: go my own way and not care about what other people have to say about it
who is your celebrity crush?
harry edward styles
have you ever gone skinny dipping?
no but omg do i want to or what???
how do you vent your anger?
i get really bitchy and upset and blast loud music and scream into pillows and punch myself and stare angrily into my own eyes yup
do you have a collection of anything?
high heels that i never use
do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
omg what? i hate them both so intensly why you making me choose between such horrible things??? i guess talking though because i act really wierd so to see me would probably be worse but on the other hand i do talk some shit so idk
are you happy with the person you've become?
not really but it's what i'm settled with so
what's a sound you hate; sound you love?
sound i hate: coughing, someone chewing loudly, when someone's pulling their joints, loud breathing
sound i love: harrys raspy voice, piano, rain splattering against the window, waves hitting the shore, breezes blowing between trees in the summers
what's your biggest "what if"?
what if i would've been born as a boy
do you believe in ghosts? how about aliens?
i do believe both exists.
stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? do the same with your left arm.
right - headboard
left - desk
smell the air. what do you smell?
air.
what's the worst place you have ever been to?
omg why can i not remember things like this like really idk
most attractive singer of your opposite gender?
hahahaHAHAHahahahahahIhahahaHAHAHhahahHAh harry. harry styles.
to you, what's the meaning of life?
to do what you love the most without other people standing in the way. just do what you love seriously and don't give a damn about all motherfuckers who try to stop you.
define art.
art is in every form around us but everyone has their own definition and own ways of finding it like cameras, papers and pens, paintbrushes and canvases, chalk and walls, spray paint and walls, guitars, piano keys, tubas, flutes, even furniture and rooms, food and spatulas and so on.
do you believe in luck?
yes
what's the weather like right now?
well like god cried since harry styles exists so it's really wet and damp and rainy like yeah
what time is it?
ten o'clock
do you drive? if so, have you ever crashed?
no but i'm terrified just by thinking about that i soon will and i have this feeling that i will crash into every house in my entire neighbourhood
what was the last book you read?
"allt jag säger är sant"
do you like the smell of gasoline?
yes
do you have any nicknames?
uh i guess but it's only my family who calls me by it
what was the last movie you saw?
the nanny diaries
what's the worst injury you've ever had?
i've never been injured
have you ever caught a butterfly?
no i've tried though.
do you have any obsessions right now?
have you not been listening HARRY STYLES
what's your sexual orientation?
i mean if i like someone i like someone does it really have to matter what gender it is??? so far i've only fallen for boys and i don't think i'll ever like a girl in that way so guess i'm heterosexual. i still don't like labeling it though.
ever had a rumour spread about you?
yeah but nothing big i guess and i really don't pay much attention to unnecessary things like that so i'm not really sure either.
do you believe in magic?
no.
do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
uhh yup
what is your astrological sign?
aries
do you save money or spend it?
spend unfortunately
what's the last thing you purchased?
chocolate.
love or lust?
love
in a relationship?
yes with harry he's just not aware of it yet
how many relationships have you had?
well one extremely not serious when i was younger that lasted for like two days and we didn't talk even once during that time and then one earlier this year who i don't really considered to be very serious either and one now with my husband styles so yeah 3
can you touch your nose with your tongue?
no
where were you yesterday?
school, bus, bed, shower, bathroom, kitchen
is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
yes
are you wearing socks right now?
yes
what's your favorite animal?
giraffes
what is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?
i talk to them and with them 24/7 but i guess it's not a very effective method since it haven't worked yet
where is your best friend?
let me ask wait
...
she's at home
tits or ass(;
ass
what is your heritage?
well i'm completely swedish except that someone way before me was russian so i guess i'm a bit of that too
what were you doing last night at 12 AM?
dreaming dirty about harry probably
what do you think is satan's last name?
styles
are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?
yeah i'm awesome
you are walking down the street on your way to work. there is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. what do you do?
save the dog obviously. if the boss is so fucked up that he/she doesn't understand the importance of a situation like that i wouldn't wanna work for that jerk anyways.
you are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) what do you do with your remaining days? c) would you be afraid?
a) no. i wouldn't want such a big thing to affect everyone else. b) i would do all the things i've been too afraid to do so far. travel a lot. show as much love as possible. FUCK HARRY STYLES. sorry. i have really strong feels right now it's not my fault. c) i'm not really scared of death itself but more of not having experienced enough
you can only have one of these things; trust or love.
trust i think.
what's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?
infinity - guru josh project
what are the last four digits in your cell phone number?
6625
in your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
it's all about trust, plenty of love and the greatest friendship in the world. those are the three most important things in a relationship according to me. i want a boyfriend (harry) with who i can share everything, someone i'm having fun with and someone i can trust a 120%. to be able to have fun together is really important if it's gonna work out. i want to do everything with him, travel, cook, cry, laugh, and yeah - everything. but even if i want to spend a lot of time with him i want him to understand the importance of giving each other space too. i want to feel free even though i'm in a relationship. there are a lot of guys (and girls) out there who are practically suffocating their partner, and that wouldn't be something i'd like. it's also important that both of you are fighting and that none are taking the other one for granted.
how can i win your heart?
be harry styles
can insanity bring on more creativity?
probably yeah
what is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
changing my lifestyle for the better
what size shoes do you wear?
38 but i don't know what that is in UK and USA so don't assume i have gigantic feet okay
what would you want to be written on your tombstone?
something about me being an amazing wife and of course that would be said by harry i mean who else?
what is your favorite word?
harry
give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.
a hEART???
what is a saying you say a lot?
why harry why
what's the last song you listened to?
years - vocal extended mix
basic question; what's your favorite color/colors?
idk i like so many but maybe baby pink or blue or purple or yellow i mean idk
what is your current desktop picture?
if you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?
i can't tell you that *smirk*
what would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
how much i think about harry i mean it consumes my brain activity i think about him and his body and his personality and his dimples way too often i mean pathetically much isn't even an accurate description wow
one night you wake up because you heard a noice. you turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by mummies. the mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. what do you do?
start singing wmyb, cry for harry and hope they go away i mean isn't that a pretty obvious thing to do???
you accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. they were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! what is that power?
teleportation because then i could transport myself to harry wow i've said harry on a lot of questions now sorry but can't help it
you can re-live any point of time in your life. the time-span can only be a half-hour, though. what half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
i can't think of anything else so i'd re-live whatever half hour of the shakira concert i went to with my dad when i was like 9 because that was really amazing
you can erase any horrible experience from your past. what will it be?
idk i haven't gone through anything horrible. maybe some painfully embarrasing moments with my ex though. hi if you read this and now get off of my blog please.
you have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. who would it be?
HARRY EDWARD STYLES HARRY EDWARD STYLES HARRY EDWARD STYLES
you just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. you have to depart right now. where are you gonna go?
the maldives
do you have any relatives in jail?
no.
have you ever thrown up in the car?
maybe when i was a baby idk
ever been on a plane?
yes omg i love it so much it's one of the best things ever
if the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
fuck me harry and also i wanna have your babies okay
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all you need is love. but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
date: 2012-11-26 time: 22:21:23
time: 22:21:23one of the realities of life is that people come and go from it. at a young age, we already experience enough goodbyes that it begins to feel like 'people leaving' is not a question of if they will, but rather when they will. out of the thousands of people we meet in our lifetime, chances are a lot of them become forgotten faces blended in with a crowd of strangers. but one of the saddest things we face is when that stranger was someone you once believed would be in your life forever.
these people you once called best friends, your boyfriend or girlfriend, and even family members somehow disappear from your life. and at this very moment, they are in the same world that you're on, part of your history, but nowhere to be found in the present. i sometimes wonder what their life is like now. i wonder what it would be like if they were still a part of my life. i question how someone i once was so close to could manage to vanish in my life as if they never existed.
but most of all, i wonder if they still think about me? i wonder if i managed to impact their lives like they impacted mine. or have i become just another nameless face that has become forgotten. it's scary to me how there is someone out there that you could know so well and influenced your life so much but you have no communication with. people come and go from your life. sometimes i just wonder where they ended up when they finally left.
deep thoughts and unpopular opinions /
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quirks about me
date: 2012-11-26 time: 20:07:00
time: 20:07:00just so that you guys can get a more accurate picture of me, this is an attempt for you to get to know me better.
- i am very bossy but hate to admit it.
- i don't tolerate homophobia or racism.
- i'm socially awkward.
- i love to write.
- whenever i'm in a store i literally have to look at every single item in that store and this is a major reason as to why i prefer shopping alone since no one has enough patience with me.
- i talk a lot to myself, especially in english and it's so awkward since i do it without even thinking about it at times. last week i apparently did it on my way home from school because this guy looked at me really funny and omg it was just so embarrassing. i mean i'm not talking loud, i'm kind of just whispering and wow i sound really pshycho now bye.
- i love grocery shopping way more than i love shopping for clothes and that is something no one understands and everyone just thinks i'm a complete wierdo. and i also love these stores where you can find quirky little fun things, like this store.
- i rarely sleep as much as i should and it's always been this way, i just don't like sleeping that's all.
- when i was younger my family and my closest relatives were on a vacation where i refused to answer when they called me by my real name (alexandra) and i only listened to the name maja.
- i've got 3 birthmarks and you can find all of them on my legs.
- i love being alone at home. i've always been a bit of a loner but it's my own choice because i really just like it.
- i hate making decisions and i get anxious whenever i have to do so.
- i love to just aimlessly walk around in beautiful forests and just enjoy the nature and sounds around me and when i was a kid i used to tell my parents that i was going to the playground but instead i sneaked away to the woods and picked flowers, sat on rocks, climbed trees, studied insects and watched the other kids (the playground was really close to the forest) play hockey or whatever and yeah it just hit me that i've never been normal wow.
- i love my grandma and grandpa to death and they mean the world to me because they're just the most amazing, loving and caring people ever and ugh i just love them so much.
- i love cooking.
- i love to dance and want to do it again (i took dancing lessons when i was younger).
- i would choose a serious relationship over one night stands/messing around with random boys without even considering it further.
- i only have one real friend in my life (except for internet friends because i have a lot of those and i love you all so much) and i've known her for twelve years. this is only because i'm socially awkward and have a hard time making new friends since i have high standards and i find it really hard letting people in because i have major trust issues.
- i love ice cream and i would choose it over candy at all times.
- i love stargazing.
- i hate hot dogs.
- i don't like when men are too big and muscular, enough is enough you know. i love muscles, just not big bulky ones. it's hard to explain really..
- i can't whistle.
- i love to travel and it's seriously what i enjoy most in life.
- i find intelligence in boys to be an extreme turn on.
- i'm obsessed with a certain type of food for weeks and then i practically never want to eat it again (and when i say never i mean a couple of months). this has happened with things like yoghurt, cottage cheese and eggs.
- smoking, drinking or being a "bad girl" has never really been appealing to me.
- reading can either be the most pleasant thing in the world or the worst thing that could possibly be happening to me. this all depends on if the book is good or not, obviously.
- harry styles is my life and that is just pathetic i'm pathetic.
- i love the powerpuff girls so much dear god.
- i suck at practically all sports this world has to offer.
- i think routines are plain boring and i want things to be fun. spontaneous and adventurous would describe me good.
- i wanted to be an astronaut when i was younger.
- i'm terrified by even just thinking of one day becoming a mother. i'm so afraid that i won't be able to raise them well and that i will not have time or knowledge enough to learn them all the things i want them to know and this just scares the death out of me for some reason.
- i'm very old-fashioned.
- i've had one boyfriend and i don't even consider that that relationship was a real relationship ugh idk.
- i love when boys dresses well.
- i have over 6000 pictures on my phone omg.
- i hate toilets and can not sit on them so i have to put paper on the toilet seat every time even in my own house and i don't know why i just told you that.
- i don't like pomegranate, celery or mango.
- i drink way too small amounts of water a day.
- my favorite attributes on boys include big hands with long fingers, muscular backs, broad shoulders, dimples and beautiful eyes.
- on my funeral i want the song "give me love" by ed sheeran to be played.
- i'm bad at remembering names.
- my brain kind of just shuts down after big assignments and tests and everything practically goes blank for an hour or so.
- i fucking love and adore british accents so much gaaawd.
- the ugliest shoe there is; crocs.
- i love peanut butter and banana sandwiches and i can't believe i discovered this gift from the gods only about 2 months ago.
- my parents are fairly young (35 & 39) considering my age (15).
- i absolutely love everything about christmas but i'm not at all excited about my birthday.
- i hate compliments because i never know a proper way to respond.
- i love these one shots (1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8) omg she's amazing but at the same time i hate her because she make me sexually frustrated umphf.
- i'm literally so afraid of what my future will bring me.
- i'm a virgin.
- i hate numbers. weight (this is why i don't weigh myself), test results, age, height yeah seriously anything connected to numbers.
- i talk fast.
- i love taking bubble baths but rarely ever do it.
- i love the scent of detergent.
- my parents are divorced.
- i want to live in the US so badly.
- i always assume people don't like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and periodically remind me.
- i hate facebook but i still have an account.
- i have over 13k followers on instagram.
- i'm scared of talking to strangers and answering phones and getting on buses (even though i do it every morning and every afternoon) and going into classes that aren't my own at school and paying for things in shops and doing basically anything that could result in me embarrassing myself in any way.
- i love listening to people talk about their passion.
- i love bananas and passionfruit.
- i love going to the cinema.
- i love cities during nights, it's just so alive and beautiful.
- i easily get jealous.
- ed sheeran is my perfect little angel idk i just love him and his music so much.
- i love hanging out with my best friend because even if we haven't met each other for several months it feels as if we've been together for centuries and that's just an amazing feeling.
- i hate when people are staring at me.
- i envy people who can play an instrument, especially acoustic guitars.
- i remember way too many small details about people so i have to act dumb sometimes so i don't freak them out omg haha.
- sometimes i grab my boobs out of the blue just because i can.
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so yeah
date: 2012-11-26 time: 01:23:55
time: 01:23:55omg i'm sorry i'm just really tired at the moment and i'm supposed to wake up in four hours for school so yeah i need to get to bed right away but i just wanted to make this blog official now so yeah
i'll probably delete this post tomorrow too because this really sucks but i'm too tired to make it good
bye love you hope you like the blog PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR SOMETHING AND I'LL LOVE YOU EVEN MORE KAY
what's life??? /
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