what girls are made of

  
           date: 2013-08-31 time: 21:11:02
DO NOT LET HIM TELL YOU THAT YOUR MOUTH IS MADE FOR KISSING.
Your mouth is made for the articulate frenzy of revolution, for the
crisp shape of kindness, for lurching picket lines and your
solitary war cry in a law school classroom. It is made
for the brutal pucker of dreaming. Do not let him
cradle your jaw in his audacious hands and
tell you that your mouth is anything
less than the soft and violent
devastation of water, stirring.
The next sentence you begin with "I" -
don't you dare let it end in "love you."
 

poems // 0 comments

  21:07

  
           date: 2013-08-31 time: 21:06:57
There's a pile of clothes
On my floor
That I wish were yours
 

poems // 0 comments

  10:42

  
           date: 2013-08-30 time: 10:42:18
Ribcage,
             cigarette,
                          dizziness,
                                       smoke.
Collarbone,
               coffee mug,
                               emptiness,
                                              broke.
                               Shivering fingers,
                   Desperate puffs;
          Her mind is blank,
She's had enough.
Hipbone,
            blade,
                    oblivion,
                               blood.
Spine,
        rubber band,
                         addiction,
                                      façade.
                                Blurry vision,
              The curtains are drawn;
        Tear down her face,
Your sweet girl is gone.
 
AK
 

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  21:03

  
           date: 2013-08-28 time: 21:03:56

don’t give up
just a bit more
a hand will come down
to pull you ashore
you won’t expect it
and that’s the best
and it won’t leave you
unlike the rest
the fight was worth it
you’ll see that soon
the caterpillar
has left its cocoon
it’ll keep on flying
till it reaches the top
it won’t look back
it will not stop
the fight was worth it
and now it’s here
a beautiful butterfly
that’s you, my dear
(a.k.)

 

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  21:04

  
           date: 2013-08-24 time: 21:04:36

i will always be the person who went to the grocery store in cigarette-burned pajamas every day for five months


i will always be the person who wanted to die and didn’t


i will always be the person who lost twenty pounds
in one month and i will always be the person who gained it back


i will always be the person who decided, while crying
in the passenger seat of your car, to be better


i will always be the person who paused when you first said “i love you”
just to take the moment in


i will always be the person who survived the unsurvivable i will always be the person who fought like hell for it

 

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  01:10

  
           date: 2013-08-18 time: 01:11:00

what i never
learned
from my mother
was that
just because someone desires you
does
not mean they value you.
desire is the kind of thing that
eats you
and
leaves you starving.

 

poems // 0 comments

  01:07

  
           date: 2013-08-18 time: 01:07:11

science says
that no matter how close you get
to someone
you still cannot occupy the same
space as them
I think of the nights we wasted
pressing our skin against each
other so hard that we bruised
our bones
I think it can’t be true
that the closest I’ll ever be to you
is beside you
it is not enough
I hold my hand to your
chest
and watch it float on the calm
waves of your breath
There is not enough time
to love you the way that I want to
the universe may expand infinitely
but I am not allowed that same
luxury
I cannot become the sky.
You ask me what I’m thinking
and if it hurts
I say nothing
you ask me again if it hurts
I say
yes
yes
always

 

poems // 0 comments

  19:58

  
           date: 2013-08-13 time: 19:58:09
I think it's really fucked up
how so many teenagers
are alone and sad
and having panic attacks in their room
while their parents
watch TV,
and how a lot of those teenagers
have had relatively normal childhoods
yet there's this huge boom of
depression and ED's
and mental disorders
and it's dumb
how we've turned into a generation
labeled as
"reckless"
but really we're only reckless
with ourselves.
 
(a.k.)
 

poems // 0 comments

  17:15

  
           date: 2013-08-13 time: 17:14:56
there once was a young girl with green eyes
who wore her soft blond hair
in braided pigtails
 
at the age of seven,
she watched her older sister
stand in front of the mirror before school
and pinch her stomach with a disgusted face
                            neither of them ate breakfast that morning
 
at the age of nine,
she watched her older brother
make fun of a girl with glasses
for reading on the bus
                            she went home and hid all her books
                            in the attic
 
at the age of twelve,
she watched the older girls at school
with straight hair and short skirts
put makeup on in the bathroom
and discuss how boys would only like you
if you looked perfect, like them
                            the next day she arrived with red lips,
                            short shorts, and no braided pigtails
 
at the age of fourteen,
she watched her father hit her mother for the first time
her mother cried when she saw her standing in the doorway
and told her daddy didn't mean it
                            the next year, she told herself that
                            her boyfriend didn't mean it, either
 
at the age of sixteen,
she was paper thin and empty
with straight blond hair, red lips,
purple flesh and lifeless green eyes
                            while staring at her reflection
                            in the bathroom mirror
                            she thought to herself,
                            "at least i'm normal"
 
a.k.
 

poems // 0 comments

  16:57

  
           date: 2013-08-13 time: 16:56:45
I Wrote a Poem For You
 
I wrote a poem for you
at two-thirty in the morning.
It was about how much I missed
the sound of you.
 
Your voice is so soothing
and your breathing reminded
me that you are still there.
That you hadn't broken your
promise of never leaving.
I miss you.
 
I once wrote a poem at noon
about how you used
to hold me tight
late at night.
I miss that and I miss you.
And I miss all the things
we used to do.
 
I wrote a poem for you
at five in the afternoon.
It was about the fight
we had at three.
 
I love you and I'm
sorry, you were right,
I don't know why
I picked that fight.
I miss you.
 
I wrote a poem for you
on the back of a postcard
and taped it to a kite.
I threw it up,
hoping somehow you
would get it,
wherever you are.
 
AK
 

poems // 0 comments

  11:53

  
           date: 2013-08-13 time: 11:53:02
I know you're scared right now
maybe you miss
someone
maybe your heart hurts a little
or a lot
or maybe you're not quite sure
of who you are
or what you want
but that feeling you
want back
the one where it doesn't seem
like the whole world is against
you
it's still here
it never really left
and one day you will realise
that the only person
who can find it again
is you
 
a.k.
 

poems // 0 comments

  11:49

  
           date: 2013-08-13 time: 11:49:04
I find that
 
I spill my heart out
 
To anyone who gives me
 
The slightest bit of attention
 
Silly me
 
Thinking they actually care
 
                                          
                                             A.K.
 

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  14:49

  
           date: 2013-08-12 time: 14:48:20
one plus one equals three
 
sometimes life doesn't end up the way
 
you want it to be
 
one plus one equals four
 
i just don't want to be sad anymore
 
five times five equals nine
 
please help me feel alive
 
 
- ak
 

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  13:48

  
           date: 2013-08-12 time: 13:47:00
I think I fall in love with people,
          a little too much,
 
just in the way they sound at 4am
          or how they look when they smile.
 
And it's so addicting,
          when their eyes light up,
           because you've remembered something
              they may have said.
 
I think I grow attached,
             to people, who I know,
       will leave.
                  But I can't help it,
                    because I see all that you are,
               when you don't really see it yourself.
 
And sometimes I wonder how someone's heart,
            grows so cold,
              and I think, that maybe it's because
      for a while, it was left out in the rain.
 
  You know some days I struggle,
           when there's nothing left to say,
because I still don't know how to convince you,
     that out of everyone,
                              and all the ones that leave
 
I'm always the one still standing there,
            with an umbrella,
just big enough,
                         to cover your heart.
 
(a.k.)
 

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  13:13

  
           date: 2013-08-12 time: 13:12:37
how to make me fall in love with you
 
Tell me what song you listen to by
yourself at 2 am, sitting in your bed,
laptop on your lap, screen dimly
lighting up your face. Let me watch
you quietly pace through your kitchen
barefoot on a Sunday morning,
humming as you make your coffee,
carefully turning the pages of
yesterday's newspaper or that new
book you're reading. Tell me what
that one line from that song is that
makes your heart drop into your
stomach. Tell me about that one time
when you were six that makes you
grin uncontrollably, and about that
time when you were ten that makes
your eyes water. Let me watch you
in a room with nothing but white
walls and acoustic guitar. Tell me
what you see right before you fall
asleep.
 
(a.k.)
 

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  10:43

  
           date: 2013-08-12 time: 10:43:56

there is a part of my mind and soul

that pulls whenever

i open a book,

a need

and desire

to dive headfirst into the pages,

to plunge and drink and chew

on its words and ink,

to come out feeling (something)

like my skin

has been changed,

beautifully stained

by the story.

 

poems // 0 comments

  00:41

  
           date: 2013-07-25 time: 00:41:04

what a stupid girl

falling head over heels in love

with a boy she’s never met

a boy who will never know of her existence

but that doesn’t matter to her

because this boy makes

her world spin round

this boy brightens her day

this boy is in magazines

and you can hear his voice on the radio

she even has to pay money

to see this boy in person

this boy is an ocean

and 6 hours away

but that doesn’t matter to her

what a stupid girl

the odds are against her

but she still has hope

that one day

this boy

will be hers

 

poems // 0 comments

  18:26

  
           date: 2013-07-24 time: 18:26:10

I yearn for
hot tea warmth and
layers of clothes,
feeling the first snow
melt on my skin;
nothing’s more euphoric.
Even if I’m
(Secretly) dreading it,
frost is friendly because
rejecting the cold
is the first step
in getting warm.

 

poems // 0 comments

  15:40

  
           date: 2013-07-01 time: 15:40:54
I know I cry a lot
and for many things, like
sad movies or failed grades,
abandoned dreams and
songs that remind me of the past.
Stupid things too, like
you, and all the problems I've
created for myself in my head.
But lately, what I've been
crying about most is
myself
the person I used to be and lost
and the person in the present
with no clue about her future.
 
a.k.
 

poems // 0 comments

  11:10

  
           date: 2013-07-01 time: 11:10:43
There are worse things you can be
Than an attention-seeker
Like dead,
Or comatose,
Or "the pills didn't quite kill her but she'll
never be the same."
 
They say actions speak louder than
words
But sometimes actions are just easier
Lips that never learned to form the word
'help'
Now fit comfortably around the muzzle
of a gun
Or close the curtain on thirty-two of
Mom's pills.
 
Who taught us to equate courage
With silence?
 

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  • H O M E P A G E


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    Alexandra. 16. Sweden. On this blog you'll get to know the real me, with no exceptions, meaning there will be a lot of fucked up thoughts. Mentally dating Styles so I'll be just another hormonal victim at times. Love tea | flowers | avocado | sunshine | salmon | pink | city skylines at night | bubble baths | starry night skies | snowflakes | smoothies | chocolate | dimples | candles | coconut ||.

    beautiful soul(s) online

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