I still get anxious about

leaving the house and

the seams of my clothes are

coming undone

because I can't stop tugging

at my sleeves

and when I'm certain shades

of blue

I can't eat a thing

and sometimes when

the blue is like the ocean

I'm the opposite - it's

the only way

to fill this void.

I still get shaky when

I have to go to school

or work,

I bite my lips when I see you

and most of the time

I have to hold my own hand.

 

(ak)